perhaps i should up my dosage.
My life is a series of comfort zones.Most people are able to walk around freely. They get up from their chair, they answer their phone, they walk down the street, they go from one place to another without a second thought.
Not me.
I envision bubbles. Not champagne. Safe bubbles – one around my house, one around my office, one in my car, and lots of little temporary ones, depending on where I am. The second stationary bike from the left wall at the downtown YMCA has a bubble just for me around it. If I am in one place long enough, a bubble forms and I can’t leave.
I had an epiphany this weekend.
Saturday, Bryan and I went to a restaurant to have lunch. We sat outside, and we saw one of our friends inside.
I sat there, thinking maybe he would come to us. I’ve found my spot, and I don’t want to get up.
I see
No, no, I’ll stay here. This spot has now become home to me, and I’m safe here.
But as the longer
This explains it. This explains why I have a very-mini version of a panic attack every time I have to walk downstairs in our building by myself. I’m okay when a coworker is with me. My office is a comfort zone. And my coworkers are like portable comfort zones that have legs. But I won’t go by myself. Too many eyes are watching. Too much can go wrong.
Or why it took me many months before working out in the evening. I always work out in the morning – I know the people there, I know the atmosphere, I know the morning news will be on. But the evenings – whole different set of people, whole different feel. I finally did it last week. I was terrified.
I don’t like change, I don’t like moving, I don’t like to do anything that isn’t in my realm of familiarity or comfort.
What is this? Is it social anxiety? Is it a branch of my OCD? Is it hormones, mood swings or am I just plain weird?
posted on Monday, May 08, 2006
9 Comments:
I'm not sure *what* it is, but I'm pretty sure it's hilarious.
This post explains a lot about you. I've noticed this on so many occasions... how limited you are to changing environments. And your abnormal fear of lakes, oceans, and non-carbonated beverages.
you're just a creature of habit to the nth extreme. it's good that you've finally noticed what the rest of us have been giggling about behind your back. ;)
Your life is a series of comfort zones?
No no no... I completly understand where you are comming from. I would refuse to use the toilets on flights precisely becuase i was in my comfort zones at my seat. Similarly i felt the same during lectures in university.
You my dear are not the only one with an anxiety problem. You need to take deep breaths... seriously... And your husband should help you through it... maybe carrying part of his severed leg might help with the security issues?
HA!
Lovies,
S
As long as one of your habits is the continued reading of my blog, Chevy, then I think you are okay.
It's so weird that you wrote this, because I swear a few days ago I was thinking the same thing about myself.
I can totally identify with this. I am the same way.
Even just little things I'm so into my habits that anything to change them upsets me.
As Michael Jackson once said: You are not alone
:)
I think everyone has this to some degree. I suspect it's a very natural mindset, which helps to promote survival: "Hello, I'm an animal who is safe in my current surroundings. I should probably stay here so that I don't get eaten."
Your instinct appears to just be a little heightened. When you lock yourself in the house with 72 cats, then you've got a problem.
i doubt people are watching you to see if you trip. but its okay if you do. we all do.
Heck no. You're not weird. I'm the same way, so it can't be weird.