LittleFluffyCloud

A Night Out in Dallas, by Chevy Posey

Scene

Dallas, Texas

Players

Sarah

The ditzy blonde who always has a champagne glass in her hand. This role should be played by someone who is well-endowed and doesn't know big words. Sarah has a broad knowledge of celebrity gossip and applies lip gloss several times. Wife to Bryan.

Bryan

The dark, tall & handsome man who secretly wants a white wine spritzer but drinks Jack and Coke instead. This role should be played by someone with a nervous & edgy composure, as Bryan is attempting to quit smoking. Husband to Sarah.

Wu

The gifted Asian girl who plays the violin. This role should be played by an intellectual, athletic-type, but one who is also not afraid to let loose a little. Wu will also keep her binge-drinking to a minimum, as she is someone that cares more about her body than the party animals she associates with. Wife to Jan.

Jan

The quiet European who is a stockbroker by day, and an International Spy by night. This role should be played by someone who is understated yet loud, calm yet crazy, smart yet silly. Jan is fluent in several languages and specializes in weapons training. Husband to Wu.

Amber

The exotic brunette who is quite the party animal. This role should be played by someone who has several bruises, as she falls from bars & tables after a night of drinking. Amber dresses well and has a natural beauty. Girlfriend to Glenn.

Glenn

The fraternity boy. This role should be played by someone who has a hard time keeping his eyes open, and has a broad knowledge of basketball teams & golf scores. Glenn is VIP wherever he goes, and says "my friend" constantly. Boyfriend to Amber.

Hosts/Waitstaff/Bouncers

The workers at GhostBar. These roles should be played by rude people who are out of their league. The waitresses will wear trashy, Harwin-type outfits, the bouncers will be outfited with dark suits and ear buds, and the hosts will be hot girls with triple-D cup sizes.

Act I, Scene I.

Ground floor of the W Hotel. Standing outside, time is 10:30 pm.

Glenn: "Girls, hurry, move to the front."

Sarah, Amber & Wu lift their busoms, flip their hair, and scurry to the front of the line. They know how this works. Their plan is foiled, however, as women are working the door, not men.
Disappointment is reflected on their faces.

Amber: with disdain, "We have a table, under the name Amber."

Hostess #1: "You're going to have to wait."

All 6 of them look around, as they have never experienced the humiliation of waiting at a club, ever.

Sarah: "Wait? Like with everyone else?" She pushes her breasts together even more. Never have her breasts let her down. She pulls a bottle of Ballatore out of her purse and takes a swig.

Wu: "But we have wesewvation!" (Note to director: Wu is an American/Taiwanese, so unless director wants her a** kicked, role should be played by someone who can pronounce their r's.)

Jan: Pulls out his tommy gun. "Trust no one."

Bryan sees a clubgoer with a pack of cigarettes and immediately makes friends with him.

Hostess #2: "Follow me. I will take you upstairs."

Act I, Scene II.

Ghostbar, 32nd floor of the W Hotel

Hostess #2 leads the group to their table. (Note to Props: The table should be 6 inches in diameter and made out of styrofoam. ) Everyone has shocked looks on their faces.

Amber: "Excuse me, but I don't think this is our table. We have bottle service." She reaches into her Dior purse, glances at her Cartier watch, and tugs on her BCBG dress.

Glenn begins to pull 100-dollar bills out of his wallet, but Amber stops him by blinding him with her 9-carat canary diamond.

Hostess #2 realizes her mistake and moves the group to a much larger, much more luxurious table. (Note to Props: this table is stocked with bottles, mixers & ice. The table is hand-carved, the couches are covered in mink, and the lighting is 60-watt soft glow bulbs.) The group is relieved, and feels more at home at the large table, but upon sitting down, a commotion occurs.

Manager #1 proceeds to kick the group out of the good table, and sends them back to the small table. There is much confusion as Manager #1 and Hostess #2 tell Amber she didn't make the reservations the right way, and that she's ugly. Wu delivers a kung-fu kick to Manager #1 and takes the head off Hostess #2 using only her violin bow.
The group sits down in defeat.

Glenn: "Great birthday guys. I should be VVVVIP on my birthday, but instead I'm only VVIP. This sucks the big one."

Jan: "If you don't cheer up and take a lemon drop shot with me, I will throw a grenade in your direction."

Wu: "I wonder if I can order a Perrier here..."

Sarah and Amber attempt to cheer Glenn up by pouring him a drink. Waitress #1 grabs the bottle from them and hits both of them over the head.

Waitress #1: "It's against the law in Texas for you to pour your own drinks you stupid beoyotches!" Sarah begins to cry, but stops when Bryan refills her glass.

Curtain closes.
Curtain re-opens to reflect time change.
4 hours later...

Sarah is applying lip gloss and has convinced Amber to trade her canary diamond for her Harwin-bought ring. She lied and told Amber it was from Bailey, Banks & Biddle. Amber fell for it. Sarah's now plotting what she can trade for Popcorn.
Wu has drank 6 bottles of Perrier, 2 bottles of Evian, 3 shots of wheatgrass and eaten all the dried seaweed and octopus dung that she smuggled in in her purse. She has also made 13 new friends and promised to visit them in their respective hometowns between her gigs.
Jan has decided that weaponry is much more fun when perched on the top floor of a tall building, and as a result, has bombed the JP Morgan Chase building and taken out several people on the street with his sniper rifle. He sings "Der er et yndigt land" every time he pulls the trigger.
Glenn's eyes are on cue, and are falling with each passing minute. He has spent $400 in tips alone, and has promised Sarah she can have his giant pear.
Bryan has ignored his friends all night - only talking to people that have cigarettes or lighters, but especially the ones that have both. He attempted to have a romantic moment with Sarah on the balcony, but realized his efforts were futile when he said "I love you" and she said "I love this champagne!"

All that water has gone straight through Wu, and she and Sarah take a trip to bathroom. Upon their return back to the table, Wu is grabbed by a bouncer.

Bouncer: "You're going to have to come with me ma'am, or else you will be killed."

Wu: "Why? What did I do?" She assumes a pose that makes her leg muscles pop out, in an effort to intimidate the bouncer.

Bouncer: "I cannot tell you. All I can tell you is that a brunette in a red dress is wanted, and must leave the premises. And since you fit that description, it must be you. And if you refuse to cooperate, bad things will happen."

Wu: "Well I refuse to cooperate. This is farcical!"

Sarah, not knowing what 'farcical' means, but realizing the situation is getting bad, pulls out her flashlight and shines it on the wall. The KC logo appears, alerting her friends as to the trouble that is brewing. Jan and Glenn appear instantly, Amber & Bryan stay behind to guard the alcohol.

Jan: "Lassen Sie gehen von meiner Ehefrau!" Wu translates to everyone else.

Bouncer: "I'm sorry, but she most be disposed of. There is nothing I can do."

Jan pulls out his 600 Nitro Express and begins to fire. The bouncer is too quick and is already down the hall, with Wu tucked under his armpits. Jan & Glenn look around, but they are gone.

At the elevator bank, the bouncer pushes the down button feverishly, looking over his shoulder every couple of seconds. He alerts his staff downstairs to bring the van around, that he has caught the perp and she must be destroyed. The elevator doors open, and there is Sarah, empty bottle of champagne in her hand, and the element of surprise on her side. Just as the bouncer steps in, Sarah hits him over the head, grabs Wu and tosses her to safety. Before the bouncer can get up, Sarah steps on his face with her silver stiletto and finishes the job.

Everyone cheers, and Bryan pours Sarah a new glass of champagne. Jan hugs Wu, Glenn thanks Amber for a wonderful birthday.

Sarah: "So... who's up for Taco Bell?"

Everyone laughs.

Curtains close.

posted on Wednesday, July 26, 2006