LittleFluffyCloud

something else i won't follow through with.

but let's pretend, okay?

my new goal is to blog every day. not sure how it will turn out... usually i just blog when i am feeling creative, or when i'm drunk, so to force-feed you littlefluffiness whether i'm feelin' it or not could quite possibly make this blog even more dreary than it already is. wow, i just totally wrote a very long run-on sentence. i laugh in the face of my 5th grade english teacher - ha ha ha!

i never was good at being a rebel. the best thing i can come up with to rebel against is grammar.
i think it would be fun to rebel against something. like how some girls date 'bad boys'. but i never did. i always dated the boy next door, or the nerd, or the drum major of a college marching band (true story). and i certainly didn't end up with a bad boy - peters tries to rebel and be all "i'm against the man" type of guy, but he drinks starbucks, drives a maxima, pays his taxes, and shops at banana republic. and i don't think he owns one article of clothing that is made out of leather. the closest he comes to being a bad boy is smoking. but he smokes these gay-wad summer edition marlboros that come in a yellow pack. SO not james dean of him.

okay, so i struck out on rebelling in the man department... maybe i could rebel in the career arena. i could be against big companies and dye my hair purple and go work at an art store for minimum wage. wow, just thinking about messing up my $200 every 6 weeks hair color makes me nauseous - strike two on the move to rebel.

in my defense, i came close to rebelling last month on my 30th birthday. i had been contemplating getting a tattoo, but i couldn't even do THAT the right way. when you get a tat (that's what the kids are calling it), you gotta be like drunk or something and in matamoros getting inked by a guy named ricardo that has dreads and marijuana breath. but NOOOO, not me. i spent months researching different symbols and icons and cartoon characters. i finally settled on getting either a hello kitty or a sugary confection, like a cupcake or a popsicle. i would only go to the cleanest tattoo parlor in the cleanest part of the city, but do they even have tattoo parlors in river oaks? then when i told my parents i might be getting one, they sent me a subtle "our-good-christian-daughter-doesn't-get-tattoos-didn't-we-raise-you-right" gift... a do-it-yourself henna kit. i quickly realized this mission to rebel had gone down the tubes.

i do everything the right way. i don't talk back to my parents, i go to bed early every night, i own a home, pay all my bills on time, drive an american-made car, donate to the spca, tip well, vote republican and give to the homeless. not sure why i consider all this stuff the right way - maybe it's actually the wrong way and i really AM rebelling. maybe all of YOU are right and i am the bad mama-jamma that i always wanted to be. even though i didn't really want to, just in theory, not in real life.

you know what, nevermind. it's way too much work to rebel. i'm just going to learn to live with the fact that i am just another product of the system... another tax-payer, another no-tattoo-bearing, no-leather-wearing, no-motorcycle-driving non-rebelling girl. that has big boobs.

posted on Wednesday, September 19, 2007