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I don't do much journaling here. And by journaling, I mean re-telling mundane events that take place in my everyday life. Usually my stories have a little more flare and a *tad* bit of exaggeration. Except when I'm talking about my obsession with Taco Bell, cheap champagne, or Paris Hilton. Those are all very real issues people.

But today I'm going to make an exception. It's my blog right? Who cares if you're interested or not interested? Well, I care. So in order to keep you enthralled or even awake, I'll throw in a reference about a midget and a bucket of chicken. Which won't be easy, but I'll figure it out. For you, anything.

This is your standard rant. However, it could also be considered flat-out badmouthing. But I totally deserve it, which you'll see why in the coming paragraphs. Oh yes, that was plural. There's lots of bitching to come folks. And for the record, if the party that I speak of happens to stalk read my blog, it's of no concern to me. This certainly isn't anything I wouldn't say right to their face – which I already have.

3 years ago. In a land far, far away. Or maybe it was in Houston. Yeah, probably Houston, considering I've never been to a land far, far away. But I'd like to sometime - note to those looking to get me a good gift.
So a good friend of mine started dating this girl. She wasn't from Houston, but they got pretty serious, pretty quickly. And pretty soon she had moved in with him.

She had grown up with one of my bff's, which is how we all met her. Seemed sweet – a little eccentric, but some would say that about me too…

The boyfriend sought me out, asking me to play nice with her and make an extra effort to make her feel included. Our group has been labeled ‘intimidating'…a label we've earned I suppose, what with country club memberships, Rolls Royces and black AmEx cards. It's a surprise anyone gets in.

But I happily obliged. We never became super-close, but she was a friend nonetheless. Great style and always a fun addition to the parties.

Over the course of a couple of years, I helped her out in several ways. She was a student and struggling fashion designer, so I assisted her in times of need. For instance, she called me up frantic on the day of her first show needing immediate help on some last minute items, and I made sure she was taken care of. I was one of her biggest supporters, and my friends know they can always call me up when they need something.

Eventually, she and the boyfriend split, and I am certain I was the first to email her and let her know that I hoped we could remain friends, and that if she ever needed anything, I was always around.

She responded immediately – she DID need help on something. Her resume. Now that she no longer had a place to stay or money, so she needed a job. Once again, I obliged and assisted
her with her resume.

Fast forward a few months. She's now living with one of my bff's, and she calls me one afternoon. She needed to come by and pick up some clothes for my friend. No problem. She stops by, I compliment her on her weight loss, show her around the house (she hadn't seen the new house yet), and took her into my closet. She commented on how she wished she could borrow a few items – I told her to go right ahead.

Is this story boring yet? Oh well, you'll live.

I'm building up the history here – to show you how generous, thoughtful and selfless I was to a person that I didn't know very well and a person that had failed to invest much in me. I rarely toot my own horn – oh wait, yes I do. So I'm doing it again. I'm hot AND I am a sweet, kind, giving person that expects nothing in return. Except maybe the new Paris Hilton cd. Which, by the way, everyone failed to get me for my birthday. How can my friends overlook such an obvious gift? Well they're idiots, that's why. Okay, that was rude. Sarcasm doesn't transfer well when writing.

So back to what an amazing person I am. So after all this give-take crap, a random friend and I are having a random conversation on a random day about random things, and they proceed to tell me that “Jill” has had some unkind things to say about me.

“Really?” I'm totally taken off guard. I haven't spoken to the girl in quite awhile…come to think of it, probably since she was at my house. Everything seemed fine then. I mean, I certainly wouldn't loan clothes to a person that doesn't like me. Well, maybe I would, but only really ugly clothes that would make them look fat. But I totally gave her my skinny cute clothes!

I choose to ignore this piece of gossip, writing it off as proof that the KC crew often gets their stories wrong. Why would someone not like me? I would like me if I weren't me. Unless I was a bitch to me. Then I would not like me. Wait, I'd maybe still like me, if I had apologized and said sorry to me and took me shopping. Okay I'm confused – except I ended up shopping at the end of that, and that's always good.

Days or weeks pass…I don't remember, all that vicodin and champagne makes things such a blur…and someone else tells me that Jill is running around saying some pretty mean things about me.
Again, shocked, but it gets me thinking. She had been having friendship problems with her roommate (and one of my bff's), so maybe she thinks I've taken sides in the whole charade, so she's going on the offense. Which is silly, but understandable I suppose. A major sign of immaturity and insecurity, but I've seen it happen several times. Well, I was upset, which like never happens unless someone tries to tell me that Paris'cd sucks (*ahem* Wu I'm talking to you), so I decided to confront her. Clearly she's gotten something wrong, and I'd like to clear it up. No reason why we shouldn't be friends.

So I email her, just politely asking her why she was saying things about me to my friends, what was it I had done wrong, and hopefully this is all a misunderstanding…?

Something to learn about me.I'm not one of those “you-screw-me-over-and-I'll-never-forgive-you” kind of people. I've had falling out with friends before, and there are very, very, very few people that I don't make up with over time. And I attribute that to the fact that I rarely make friends with someone that wouldn't be worth taking back.

So even though she had apparently said some unkind things about me, I was sure we could talk it out and come out as friends. Well apparently not. Her email to me basically said that yes, I had been a good friend to her in the past, but she doesn't like me and she thinks I gave her a dirty look at a party. Dirty look? That was probably constipation dear. Which is often the result of Taco Bell consumption.

And her reasons for not liking me? Well, I'm "not a good person" and I "gossip".

I gossip? You mean like what you just got caught doing? You mean what I just called you out on? You don't like when people gossip?

And she went on to say that she had no concern in clearly things up, as she didn't care about me or a possible friendship, and that this reply email was a mere courtesy.

Interesting.

I realized instantly that I was dealing with a toxic person, and that my feeble attempt at remaining friends with her would have to end there. Clearly this person is intent on self-destructing, as she just basically told me to f*ck off, someone that had helped her out immensely in the past.

I emailed her back that I was sorry she felt this way, that I was sure I had never given her a dirty look, and that I hoped she found the happiness and security she so obviously was looking for.

To make matters worse, she had become very closely intertwined with some good friends of mine – people that I really respected. So I was forced to put on a happy face and pretend like all was well, knowing full well that she was out and about bad-mouthing me and telling “her side”.

Anyone reading this will most likely be surprised to hear the story – as only a couple people in my life knew what had happened. I was intent on keeping it all under wraps, as I have learned in my life that no matter who is “right” in the situation, no one wins when you try and get people on your side. Wow, that should be like a poster or something. I'm so inspirational.

But after months of wanting to vent about it, I'm doing it - simply for posterity's sake. It's something that upset me for quite awhile, but ultimately I realized that I wouldn't change a thing. I had been the kind of friend that I always try to be, and I had given her the opportunity to save face, despite her wrongdoing, and well, you just can't predict if someone is going to turn out to be someone different.

So, current day. She has since lost more friends, presumably because she doesn't know how to cherish those that take care of her. And I've heard a few stories about what she did to those people and how she took them for granted. It also came out that she had cheated on her boyfriend while they were dating and disclosed information about him that I am sure he wouldn't want the general public to know. D oesn't surprise me one bit. Saddens me a little, as she had major potential. But at least she's no longer in my life.

And I think I heard she's dating a midget and has a fried chicken fetish…? Don't know if that's true.