A meme all about me. Since talking about me is what I do best, especially with meme's. I have bolded what I have done before... too bad it didn't list "drink 14 bottles of Moet in one day" or "stalk Jack Bauer", since that's pretty much what I do ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

1. Started your own blog. Who would do that? That's like putting all your shit out there for the whole fucking world to see. Wait a minute, can I cuss on it and not care who's reading? Brilliant!
2. Slept under the stars. Um hello, everyone sleeps under stars every night. DUR.
3. Played in a band. Yes, and by played in a band I mean pushed the colored buttons on the Rock Band guitar. Thank you Houston, good night!
   
4. Visited Hawaii. OH MY GOD the flight is long. I almost slit my wrists it was so long, but then I realized my life wasn't as bad as I thought it was, since I was flying to Hawaii and all.
5. Watched a meteor shower. And farted along to it. You're allowed to do that when you live in Texas.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. To charity? No. To my shoe fund? Yes.
7. Been to Disneyland. Not Land, but World. Which is stupid, considering World is much better than Land. So I've heard. But this source also told me that Del Taco is better than Taco Bell, so I'm not sure they can be trusted.
8. Climbed a mountain. No way. That would require that I drink water and wear flat shoes. Ew.
9. Held a praying mantis. OMG, no.
10. Sang a solo. All the time. The audience adores me, too. And by audience I mean Bryan, Jersey and Chevy.
11. Bungee-jumped. No, they wouldn't let me take my champagne bottle with me. And if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna do it with champagne in my hand.
12. Visited Paris. Not yet. One of these days.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. Does being awesome count as an art?
15. Adopted a child. Wow, I think this gets like major props, not just recognition on a blog meme.
16. Had food poisoning. The rule of food poisoning is - it comes out both ends. And yes.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Why would someone do that, when the world's biggest McDonald's is nearby?
18. Grown your own vegetables. I like mine genetically-engineered and coated in preservatives.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. I am neither well-educated nor interested.
20. Slept on an overnight train. And I ate soup for dinner. Which is stupid... soup on a train?
21. Had a pillow fight. Or rather, we posed like we were having one, but it totally counts.
22. Hitchhiked. Hi, I wanna get raped and left for dead.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill. I might not have been "ill" in the traditional sense of the word, but puking jello shots from La Strada certainly qualifies as being ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb. I've held a Leg of Lamb. Nawm nawm.
26. Gone skinny dipping. Even during the day. In public. What happens in Miami stays in Mia... dammit!
27. Ran a marathon. A relay marathon. I sucked. End of story.
28. Ridden a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse. I have vague memories as a kid.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run. In bed.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. Oh yeah, been to Waco many times. And they have almost all of their teeth. Well, back teeth at least.
35. Seen an Amish community. Saw the Mennonites while on a jungle cruise in Belize. And since the Mennonites are almost Amish, I am totally counting this.
36. Taught yourself a new language. You mean, like better myself? Ew.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. Puh-lease.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa. We had the chance to, but we opted for sleeping in instead. Priorities people.
39. Gone rock climbing. I listened to Bryan tell me about his rock-climbing experience. That was exhausting enough.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen the Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa. No, but I listened to the song Africa by Toto. Good times.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. I smoked pot on a beach by moonlight. Walking is overrated. Wow, let's hope my family is reading.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted. Bryan drew a stick figure of me once. It had big boobs.
48. Gone deep-sea fishing. I drank beer while others did.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person. True story: I didn't KNOW I was in the Sistine Chapel. I thought we were in some holding room before we got to the chapel, and I was wondering why everyone was so quiet and looking up. After 10 minutes of standing there reading my tourguide map, it dawned on me. Dumb blonde? No. Idiot? Yes.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. DUDE, I was totally going to say yes until you said "in Paris." Have you seen Vegas's Eiffel Tower? I don't think Paris' is as good. Or as big.
51. Gone scuba-diving or snorkeling. Hate it.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater. My parents took us to see Beetlejuice. It was too 'secular', so we left. Clearly their attempt at raising me non-secular was successful.
55. Been in a movie. I was an extra in 'Powder'. No, I wasn't the really white person.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business. Does supervising Bryan's business count? It should, because he worked his ass off, and I spent the money. We're a great team.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia. I've had vodka and know a girl named Kalmanoff.
60. Served at a soup kitchen. I should totally do something selfless like this, but I have to catch up on my reality tv. Sorry, maybe next time.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. Oh yes, but I was the one whose parents bought them all so I could get that stuffed animal prize.
62. Gone whale-watching. Unfortunately, the whales weren't human-watching that day.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma. Ew.
65. Gone sky-diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp. Those still exist? Cool!
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy. Oscar the Grouch.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar. GRODY to the max.
72. Pieced a quilt. I am neither 80-years old nor live on a farm.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job. Whatev.
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.
77. Broken a bone. This would require doing something physical, which I try to avoid.
78. Been on a motorcycle. Dur.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican. Pope on a Rope, I should have bought it.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper. Do college papers count? Of course they do.
85. Read the entire Bible. I read the entire Picture Bible, and that's totally the same thing.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Isn't that what chefs are for?
88. Had chicken pox. At 18. SUCKED.
89. Saved someone's life. Convinced a friend to get TiVo. Luckily for her, I was in the right place at the right time. It was a close call, but God was looking out for her that day. I like to call it a miracle.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous. Woody Harrelson. We're BFF's.
92. Joined a book club. No, but I should totally start an US Magazine Club. Brilliant!
93. Lost a loved one. No one besides grandparents, who are supposed to die. Wow, that sounded completely insensitive. You should drink more, I would sound a lot less callus. It's you, not me.
94. Had a baby. I can barely take a big dump without crying.
95. Seen the Alamo in person. Every child that grew up in Texas was forced on a family trip to the Alamo. It's the closest thing to culture we have in this state. Next to Taco Bell of course.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake. No, but one time I hit a sale at Saks. It was exhausting.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit. No, but I totally want to sue someone to get rich. It's the American Dream.
98. Owned a cell phone. Bought my first one in 1996... $30 a month for 30 minutes. What a steal.
99. Been stung by a bee. By a wasp, though. And completely did not overreact. And by not overreact, I mean I completely overreacted. It's opposite day.
100. Read an entire book in 1 day. Pretty much every Nancy Drew book every written. I adored her. Maybe took it a step too far when I bought a blue mustang at 19.