Apparently anything I have to say these days can be condensed into 140 characters or less.  Which works most of the time, but those days when I need to embellish and put that extra fluff into my stories, LFC is where it's at.  My very own pink page that lets me be as self-deprecating and ridiculously awesome as possible?  Score!

I figured a Thanksgiving post would be a great way to rejoin the blogging world.  Not that I ever left, but admit me, you missed me.  And if you didn't miss me, well not only do you suck, but you're here reading this anyways, so TAKE THAT.

So I'd like to list those things for which I am thankful for.  None of which include my loving husband, my awesome friends, a beautiful roof over my head and yummy food on the table.  Being thankful for those things would be cliche...  and if there is one thing I am NOT, it's cliche.

Now excuse me while I go bleach my hair and put my fake tan on, y'all.

Actors That I Previously Found Hot, But Then They Went Away, So I Forgot About Them, But Now They've Come Back And They're Even Hotter Than Before.

Wow that was a mouthful.  And speaking of mouthfuls...  wait what?  Nevermind, um, I forgot people can find me by just using Bing.  And no Bing didn't pay me to say that, but they should.  I have like 3 readers.  Google's stock would plummet.

Back to said actors... like Jake Gyllenhaal.  Nawm nawm nawm nawm nawm nawm.  That's set to some tune, I just don't know which one.  Frankly, I could be nawming my way through Jingle Bells, as long as I'm nawming my way to Jake.  He was off my radar, but has come back with the new movie Brothers.  I might have to drag Peters to it, under the notion that I think the movie looks "very interesting and thought-provoking", all while really thinking about Jake feeding me Little Debbies and telling me how amazing my lease analyst skills are.  Shirtless of course.

Different Levels Of Security On Facebook.

If you are not aware of this feature, please let me enlighten you.  As more and more people are surfing The Interwebs, Facebook's popularity has soared.  So imagine my horror when I started getting friend requests from aunts, uncles, MY PARENTS, former teachers, extended family members, MY PARENTS, people from church, co-workers, MY PARENTS...  the list of people wherewithin I'd like to maintain my sweet and innocent cover is extensive.  You know, the girl that does community service and drinks diet coke and helps old ladies across the street.  Ok, so I pushed the old lady down, but the bitch deserved it.  Don't shake your knitting needle at me, grandma.

So you get my point.  Evil, binge-drinking, plastic-surgery-loving, tutu-wearing Sarah is best left for those people that truly appreciate her.  Which brings me to the Settings→Privacy→Profile page.  This glorious page allowed me to set up a SAFE level, so when MY MOTHER eventually ignores my pleads to leave Facebook to the young'ins and sends me the dreaded friend request, I can simply add her as a SAFE friend, and voila!  Her little girl hasn't grown up.  And instead of seeing me chugging bottles of Moet two-at-a-time and throwing gang signs ('cause I'm hardcore like that), she sees sweet pictures of us posing with Jersey in front of a Christmas tree.  Awwwwww.

YouTube.

Videos like this one, and this one and this one are what get me out of bed in the mornings.  And if you think that's sad, well you'd be right.

Mockumentaries.

For me it began with Best in Show.  The brilliance of interviewing "real people" while capturing their oddities and relationships with one another is only done well with the right cast.  And Christopher Guest has nailed it over and over.  I went back to Spinal Tap, and also fell in love with A Mighty Wind.  But it doesn't end with movies...  The Office (both versions) and now Modern Family - I can't get enough.     

There's lots of other things I'm thankful for...  Amazon's 1-click shopping, pickles in their own travel pouch, Foxmarks, my Hello Kitty debit card, the fact that you can get cheese on your fries or tater tots at Sonic, warning labels on sugar-free candy, people that know how to correctly spell my name (WITH AN H, it isn't rocket science), this guy, Redbox, seasonal marshmallows, friends with painkillers, and bit torrent.  But none of these really deserved a bold font.  Well, maybe the painkiller one does.

I hope everyone has a happy thanksgiving.