things i learned from my trip to aspen

April 6, 2009
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  • A-Rod does not wash his hands after using the bathroom. We have eyewitnesses. And just think where his hands have been.
  • What do you get when you cross Hymen Street with the Peter Lik Gallery?
  • Finding an iPhone on Buttermilk Mountain is not the same as finding a needle in a haystack. It's actually quite easy.
  • 3 blondes + 3 asians = a Vivid Entertainment producer's dream.
  • When a stewardess gives you a Bloody Mary and a small bottle of Skyy Vodka, you're supposed to combine the two. Not drink separately.
  • 2 drinks at a high altitude are the same as 4 drinks at sea level. We do not have video proof of this however.
  • Tablecloths can be used as jump-ropes. Sort of.
  • If you want to swim in a stranger's hot tub, it is perfectly acceptable to ask said stranger for use of their personal swim trunks.
  • Orgasms can be reached by merely partaking in the sushi offered at Matsuhisa.
    The orgasms are to keep you happy when you receive the bill.
  • Cougars are said to frequent downtown Aspen and leave tracks in the shape of Gucci boots.
  • TexMex eaten anywhere outside of Tex or Mex is to be eaten at your own risk.
  • The Hooter's Ski Team would be more appropriately named The Hot Girls That Just Spray Tanned And Sit In The Lodge Looking Cute And Not Skiing Team. I secretly wished I could join.
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